Over the weekend, after attending a workshop, we met with some friends over tea. The Omosh issue came up. Now, obviously, it gets to the point where we may say he's irresponsible or he should have done this or that. Or that we should not help him a third or fourth time.
To anyone who hasn’t dealt with addiction or depression, it is mainly a straightforward thing. Seems like an open and shut case if you have all your mental capabilities working well. I was also in the same ship some years back, not alcoholism, but the thinking. I always thought people should get it together within a short time.
When I began to look into this issue seriously I realized that addiction is a disease where your brain is taken over by something different. Your brain not only needs the alcohol but compels you to take it for it to function properly. That’s why you see people, early in the morning going to a wines and spirits shop to “toa lock.” They need the alcohol so that they can function properly during the day.
At first, they hide the habits out of shame, soon enough all shame goes because they can no longer hide it or care about it as much.
When a lot of friends give up on them, they sink into it 100%. Since they already think they have become useless, they just try to make enough to get by. Alcohol becomes their best friend, when they take it, they do not think of the shame or hopelessness. They actually feel good, are happy, and can cope.
What we fail to notice is, it is a disease. It spirals from one state to another. Picture a hill, you get to the top then slide down. These ups and downs never end. The longer the alcohol break the higher the hill and subsequent sliding.
Omosh is experiencing this stuff in full swing, first to maintain his lifestyle, he may have had to go into serious debt, it's not hard for someone like him to accumulate debt. He's a celebrity for heaven's sake. If you met him and he borrowed you some cash, you would not refuse.
Now imagine this being played out with his friends or business partners. It's hard not to lend him money, plus he seems like someone who can pay. So, even if he doesn't pay in cash he has a lot of ways to ensure some benefits somehow.
But this is where the problem is, too much debt plus an alcoholism problem. This gets him to have even worse breakdowns.
You have debts you haven’t paid, and you can take some drinks and forget about it. In addition, it may have been that when he was assisted with some money, he may have paid some debts and at the same time shown off that the good times were back. This was just to avoid the shame and show those who had been there for him that he had things under control. ( which is not the case)
This habit immediately doubles your drinking rate, soon enough you wake up and wonder, “ where did all the money go?”
Once you get to that point, you cannot borrow those who helped you. They already heard that you had millions of shillings, “where is the money?” they ask. “How did you finish almost 2 to 3 million?”
What people fail to realize is that :
He may not have gotten all that money.
Two, people exaggerate how much he got just to justify their bias.
Then again people love stories of other people failing.
His situation at this point is depressing and also makes him feel shame. It's even much more courageous that, in spite of all the embarrassment, he has come forward to say he’s broke and needs help. Many alcoholics cannot do this. They drink to their deaths.
If you look at this issue carefully, this is how he can get helped.
1. Gather all proceeds into one account.
2. Appoint a group of good-natured individuals to manage the funds, at least.
3. Let them guide him from rehab and into getting a job that lets him get by.
4. Give funds periodically to push him ahead every time he hits some set milestones.
5. Let him know, and also educate him on what he's going through, let him get alternatives, move or cut off fellow alcoholics, these are hardcore habits.
6. Get him to spend a lot of time where he is loved and needed, with kids parents, or the wife.
7. Structure his debt repayments in an organized manner. Yes, he has debts but they should not be the immediate concern.
8. Get him some training on practical money management. He should understand why he does what he does and when he does it, then he can improve on where he may be weak.
Helping such individuals without guidance, and restrictions makes them fail. . Guidance helps, restrictions help. Constant updates over a three or four-year period will also help.
He has some goodwill left from a lot of his fans, he definitely can make it out. Don’t be too quick to judge him.